Monday, September 28, 2009

A Yom Kippur Statement and Prayer

As spokesman for the Chosen People, I hereby disavow any affiliation, any shared values, any mutual heritage, any common blood or DNA, with the shrieking lump of anthropomorphic tissue known as Kristina Sullivan.

The reason for this statement is threefold. The first is obvious. Any linkage between the aforementioned Creature brings shame on all of us.

Globally, each time the Thing speaks, the Earths' rotation is altered slightly by so many bodies, all over the Planet, spinning in so many graves, that the counter-gyroscopic effect cannot be mitigated for hours. This can only exacerbate the Climate Change Crisis.

More personally, by this statement I hope to guarantee that, if Political winds change, and the Cattle Cars return for us, there is no chance that I would ever have to experience the horror of sharing life in a Concentration Camp with the aforementioned Beast. That would make my stay unendurable.

Please God, let those who wish harm on us not witness her, for if they do, it shall surely bring us misery and pain. Amen.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and a fine spokesman you are, spending time writing here on Yom Kippur instead of in shul praying. Go away.

Mon Sep 28, 10:09:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Ed Feldman said...

JEWS...IN...SPACE!

Tue Sep 29, 08:52:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eddie-pie:

I understand that you are very angry at Dina, Kristina and a variety of other half-wits in the Hill that won't shut up. You have every right to be.

We are all aware of your insatiable need to make everyone gasp with shock. Alas, you will never be satisfied. Fine, keep going, sweetie. (Personally, I enjoy it.)

But please...the Holocaust on Yom Kippur is too much to stomach. Yeach.

(/waves white flag.)

Thu Oct 01, 09:54:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Ed Feldman said...

As my writing here is Gratis, the primary motivation for its imagery is personal. It pleases me.
Its secondary purpose is to ridicule and anger its subjects, who deserve such treatment.
A tertiary purpose would be the inducement of action against these subjects by their victims.
I have long since given up on that one.
Your response reinforces that opinion.
As long as those who regard these people as you do stay anonymous, their actions will continue.
I'm glad you enjoy it, but I never consider any ones' sensibilities unless I'm getting paid, that would be self-censorship, and anti-art.
Intentionally trying to shock would be the same thing, constraint of another form, and either one starts to turn the art into commerce.

Ed(I didn't know it was Yom Kippur until I heard Obama's message on TV) Feldman

Sat Oct 03, 01:08:00 PM EDT  

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