Friday, February 27, 2009

CHCA Red Carpet Watch

Were you there? If you weren't, you missed the fashion event of the season, I
for one wouldn't have missed it for all the Coal in Richard Snowden's Pants.

While certain celebs were absent, and more than a few excused themselves early
from the festivities, the February CHCA board meeting had MORE than enough
glamour to satisfy even the most jaded "board watcher." I, Edward of the Hill
will now reveal all-and discuss.

Item: Looking at least ten years younger was VP of Operations Dina Hitchcock.
What HAVE you done to yourself girlfriend??!! A new cut-a new color-a new you!
Taking her cue from notables like Ellen Burstyn, Dina has done what we in the
trade call "Age Appropriate" coloring. Rather than fight the eternal battle
AGAINST gray, she wisely has eliminated all traces of her former color to go
shockingly - and fabulously - white white white!! Now if you can only do something
about the red down vest, darling. Doesn't Michael J Fox need it for Back to the
Future IV?

I was DYING to confront the Wynmoor resident to ask who had "done" her for the
meeting, but she left early, just before two of Philadelphia's Finest showed up
at the party. I wonder if there was any link between her departure and their
arrival. Don't worry my Darlings, they weren't the FASHION POLICE.

Item: Looking VERY Presidential was Tolis Vardakis, "The Cretin that runs the
meetin'" - Yes, the Pres of the CHCA - from the exotic Isle of Crete. His dark blue
suit just PERFECT for his Continental Style of Governing. His Ivory hued cuffs
shot each time his gavel dropped - a VERY dramatic action. He's definitely a Man
who knows how to dress for the occasion.

Tolis's ensemble stayed long after Dina left, staying crisp and sexy. If only
the suit had been allowed to answer the audiences' questions, we wouldn't have
noticed that - it was empty!

Item: Mark Keintz, again dressed from the Boys Department of EJ
Korvettes - circa 1965 (Sweetie, I know Talbot's Petites closed up, but there must
be something you can do). After all, you're the Treasurer! How about a Chalk-Pin
Stripe Double Breasted - Very Larry Kudlow. Just watch the lapels; they MUST be
narrow enough to emphasize height-such as it is. Too wide and you look like
Nathan Detroit in a Junior High production of Guys and Dolls.

And of course, Walter Sullivan. How many sweater-vests do you own, my darling?
Thursday nights ensemble was striking. Very Lionel Barrymore. So authentic, right
down to the walker. But an Obama button? Listen to Papa W.S. When Creating THE
PERFECT ensemble of 1934, Accessorize, but don't Anachronize! Think Wendel
Wilke. You'll thank me later.

Frau Jane Becker, too modest to mention Kate Winslet's portrayal of her early
years, all in Gap for Death Squad. Pussycat, pussycat, isn't it about time you
let you be you? I mean if Dick can't play, then put it on display! Get it out
there girl! Get Teenagers Inc. to take you THRIFTING! I'M WAITING!

That's all for now, my darlings. More to come as we LOOK AT THE VIDEO TAPES.

Ed Feldman

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man, this is hilarity!!! Eye watering, gut busting laughter!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Back to the Future!! Talbots Petites!

Fri Feb 27, 04:13:00 PM EST  
Anonymous R. said...

Daaaahling! Simply Smashing!

Ed, I'd love to see MORE of this type of tabloid reporting... Such sensationalism, such drama...pizazz and flare! Pure MOCKERY!

TO DIE For... California has been just Divine inspiration for you.

Where are those Queer Eyes for the Straight Guys on the Hill... Hello boys..... MAYBE - we could have a community board reality makeover show. HOURS of FUN.

I think Stewie Griffin would be rather proud I say. Yes, rather proud.

lmao!

TOODLES!

Tue Mar 03, 12:22:00 AM EST  

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