Not Hard to Figure
You would think that it would get harder to come up with an angle on The News, what with eleventy thousand Networks and Websites, or maybe its just that I haven't been able to find the explanation for President Barrys' Afghanistan Surge-o-Rama anywhere that satisfies my particular World View. Or maybe I haven't looked hard enough.
Or maybe it's because my riff is not based on a World View, but on the nature of ambition, a motive based on that ambition, and the secret that every Politician tries to keep from the Electorate.
That secret is that they are politicians. Not Public servants, or Statesmen/women, or Defenders of the Flame. They're Politicians. It's the only lawful profession, other than stripper, that will never be admitted to by those who practice it.
Strippers always refer to themselves as dancers. But even they won't use stripper as an epithet when referring to their enemies. Yet when politicians want to insult the opposition, what do they call them? Politicians. What do they accuse them of "playing"? Politics. They insult them by calling them politicians, which is what they are, what they both are. They ask for your vote by claiming not to be "carreer politicians. "
This all explains the higher poll numbers for strippers than for politicians.
Now that I have revealed the real profession of our president, let us remember what a politicians' first job is. It is to get elected. Or re-elected. Before the policies and the State Dinners, and the Dog and the Helicopter, comes the election and the strategy for its' success.
Barrys' team has shown an aptitude for election success in the past. It was its' reason for being. Why should its' motive change now? That includes A-Stan.
Can you present a plausible alternative? Let's try.
1. Nation Building in Afghanistan. A pile of rock, ruled in increments of a few thousand square miles for millennia by tribes with no history for building any cohesive organizations other than the ones used to repel outside invaders. Barry knows this history as well as I. That can't be it.
2. Resource Plunder. (See Halliburton/Iraq.) No Oil in A-Stan- just Poppies for Heroin, and we say we want to eradicate that. And the CIA already established the pipeline from Southeast Asia thirty years ago, their reward from Viet Nam. (And Barry said their were no similarities.) Hashish? Afghanny was great, but Europe smokes it all up and none of it has gotten over here for twenty years, take it from one who knows. So that can't be it.
PS: I Love Amsterdam!
3. Oh the terrorism- the 9-11 thing. That smoking gun of a twenty second film of some guys on monkey bars, reputed to be shot in Afghanistan. Because to make a bomb, and to plan an attack, you need to all be in the same country at the same time so you can be caught more easily. And be good on the monkey bars.
Like those guys who planned 9-11 in Ramada Inns and Titty Bars and over the Internet and on cel phones from Germany and Palm Beach. The guys we now get to kill on grainy TV by unmanned drones controlled by Art of War Grads from another part of Florida.
Or the guys arrested in hotel rooms by European Interpol types who all cooperate with each other and the CIA to trace them 21st century style, with technology and paid informants. The agents of governments who don't want to help us "on the ground" in you-know-where. Terrorists are criminals and criminals are caught be clever police, not by Armies.
Who was the last terrorist caught by a tank? So that's not it either.
4. That we give a shit about broke ass Third Worlders who, without our help, would fall under the tyranical rule of woman hating fundimentalist power freaks.
See Somalia, Myanmar, Saudi Arabia, and Mississippi. Check.
Afghanistan will get back to being exactly what it was going to be before we got there, right after we leave. We all know that and we don't care.
Just like we, with the Medias' help, have already forgotten about Iraq. Remember Iraq? Do people still get blown up over there on their way to the store? Is the Government stable? Do Sunnis and Shia still control their own neighborhoods and towns and provinces and no one goes into the "other place" without getting killed?
Remember when it was important to care about that shit? It was just six months ago.
Now that it's not on the Front Page, we don't .
Barry knows all this too. I always give politicians the benefit of the doubt regarding their grasp of the situation. It makes them look so much worse when they feed us some other line of horseshit.
He knows that as soon as we leave Afghanistan and replace its' space on the Front Page with something else, all is forgotten. We just replaced Iraq with Afghanistan, just like Cheyney replaced Afghanistan with Iraq seven years ago.
So why don't we leave now? And why is the withdrawal date July, 2011? Think hard, you'll get it. Think about what Barry does for a living.
On a wall, in a room we never see, is a Pie Chart with Three Slices. One Slice is labeled, "The people who will never vote for you, no matter what you do." The folks who made the Chart never mention this Slice
Another Slice is labeled" People who will always vote for you, no matter what you do " They never discuss this slice either.
And then there's the Slice in the Middle.That one is labled,"The Slice you need Fifty-One Percent of."
Millions of dollars go to pay people and to create slogans and ads and tactics and lies to get that Fifty-One.
The calculations have been made. That Fifty-One Percent of the Middle, it has been determined, can be persuaded by the Republicans that if Barry pulls out now, he will be a Chardonnay Drinkin' Frenchified Coward of Kerry-like proportions, and not fit to be at the helm of a big powerful country with the job of protecting us and leading the Free World, blah, blah, blah.
It's bullshit as old as the Hills, but there are people who still believe it. They believe Infomercials too.
So Barry will get on his Horse and ride the Range, for Two Years. The Generals will be told to keep casualties to a minimum, and Barry will greet the returning Soldiers.
Then, in July 2011, he will announce Great Advances in whatever Standards of Success his people have already figured they could achieve, and then leave.
Afghanistan will return to what it was, and we'll forget about it, because the Media will stop covering it. Their attention will turn Elsewhere. To what, you may ask? Thanks for asking. I will tell you.
The Summer of 2011 is when the 2012 Presidential Campaign begins. Fresh from declared success in Afghanistan, and fresh from an economy which will have recovered enough for us to forget how really good it used to be, Barry beats Mitt, or some hillbilly.
And you thought that speech was about a military campaign. Military campaign are militarys' job. Getting elected is Barrys' job. And he's good at it. I don't dislike him because I expected this.
The real idiots are the Michael Moores of the Left who didn't see this coming and now feel betrayed. But they'll all vote for Barry come 2012. Who they gonna get? Somebody cooler? Clooney already has a better job. Somebody whiter? Then they're racists. Somebody blacker? Then they'll lose. Barry was their perfect candidate. They could be hip, tolerant, and safe, all at the same time. Barry figured all this too.
Their childish naivete is the reason they'll never be in power. It's not a game for children.
When the Real Left grows some balls and spits in the eyes of those who call them Stalin, then they'll win, get Single Payer, and re-establish a 50% bracket for those who fucked our economy, took the bonuses and hid the money offshore. Barry don't play that. He played you.
Until then, they'll put their faith in Centrist, Corporate, angle-players like Barry, Bill, and Hill, and then feel used. Poor Babies. No revolution for you Michael, you backed a Politician.